Now let me start by say I am blaming no one here, no blame of parents, teachers, grandparents etc. As we have all been through this ourselves. So are we going to be the generation to stop and question it, to bring truth with responsibility, living it, and no finger pointing, as let's be honest our parents didn't know any better and neither did theirs. It's how we have all grown up, crushed by the system. It's the systems we need to hate and the consciousness that feeds it, the one that tells us it's okay to , that's what we need to hate, and not allow it to have its way. It's time to wake up and be the generation that changes things once and for all, for all of us. With no fight, war or hate.
If we were to truly stop and look, and let ourselves feel the truth, get really honest and probably feel some pain and hurts at feeling how we have been brought up this way. We are crushing our kids to fit in. That bright light at such a young age, who feels ands everything, reads every person in the room and can sense what's going on for them, who know if a house is safe or not just by walking past a gate, the child that tumbles in the room full of lightness, brightness and joy, with so much wonderment, infectious joy, questions, honesty and a saying it how it is, with not an emotion in sight. A child with so much love in their every step and look in their eyes for all.
Lets' face we have all been there, if we stop a moment and allow ourselves to feel in our bodies, get really honest, we can still feel the devastation in our body that's there. The devastation of knowing what an incredible child you were, full of so much lightness, joy, truth and love, absolutely all knowing, to be told this is not okay, this isn't what the world wants, nor will it get you seen, liked or rewarded, and you won't fit in. What you must do, and people will help to do this, is everything you naturally are will be crushed to get you liked, fitting in and rewarded. It hurts, I know for me I can still feel this devastation of being told from the world around me - we don't want this powerhouse reflection of love, joy, playfulness, and straight talking no nonsense truth. It's good to feel as that is the only true way to heal.
But if you think about it. from a very young age, with no one to blame, as generations have been this way, we are telling kids, don't be yourself, you need to be a certain way to fit in and be liked, that's how the world is, how are systems are, but does it have to be that way?
Do we have to tell our kids, be it at home, in school, you need to sit like this, be this way, don't be too joyful, playful, too loud, too quiet, don't speak the truth, don't say things how they are, don't skip, don't walk like that, don't ask too many questions, don't like that colour to this, don't play with that, or you won't be liked or fit in, This is what you need to do to fit in, you need to be this way, go against everything you know to be true, to be like and fit in, and you must live that way, can you feel the devastation in the body that creates. It's crushing in so many ways.
We then grow into adults, but first our teenage years where we see kids, girls desperate to fit in and be liked that they no longer know who they are, dressing this way, hair that way, body like this, sending nude pictures, doing porn at the touch on a button on a screen they permanently have in their hands. Labelled a prude if they don't and a slut if they do, if we really asked out body we would never do this, yet we have been conditioned to do things to fit in and be liked, for most no matter what it is and even if it goes against what we feel inside. Getting the most likes on instagram, snap chat streaks, acting a certain way, listening to music not because you like it but because everyone else is, this is the tip of the iceberg and boys are included in this, you have to be like this, act hard, tough, don't cry, don't be sensitive, caring or tender, speak to a girl like crap, make her do sexual things, you do sexual things, not because you want to but to be liked and fit in. Wear these clothes, trainers, be hard and tough, go against everything you know inside is true to you. Don't you dare be the ones that stand out for being yourself, that puts your head above the parapet, not in rebellion but in truth of living in truth of who you truly are, living what you know is true to you, not to be cool, liked or fit in. How freeing would living in this way be on our bodies, movements and life?
The reality is this is how we have all lived and have been crushed form a very young age to be liked and fit in, But fit in to what ? To a world that's exhausted, miserable, withdrawn and given up?
Then it rolls on into our adult life, where we are still plagued in our every movement to be liked and fit in, are we liked at work, do we fit in, if we are honest it's all still there, at the gym the comparison, the jealousy, does my partners friends like me, do I live the picture or belief of what a woman, a mum, sister, mother, brother, dad, man should be. or a doctor, lawyer, hairdresser, car mechanic, teachers etc should be. Am I being true to myself or just doing things to be liked and fit in?
Have we ever considered the impact of this crushing and devastation has on our body and health. What if we were allowed the freedom to move in away to be ourselves from a young age? Would there still be as huge illness and disease rates? Would there be less misery, anxiety, depression and pain? Would we still use food, drink, drugs, ( illegal and legal ) to numb and dull what we feel, to cope with the pain of not living our true self. Would we distract ourselves with devices, missions, goals, driving non stop achievements or accolades? If we had not been crushed from a very young age to fit in and be liked? Would we still need to look outside ourselves to fill a void we can never fill with anything from outside ourselves?
Would we have kids by age 10 or younger who have already withdrawn, given up on life, if we honestly look around most of our kids are this way, and adults alike.
This is not to lay the blame, this is to say are we going to be the generation who will wake up and change it for everyone once and for all? Do we care enough to change?