Why do so many of us allow abuse?
Maybe abuse conjures up a picture of something horrible and vile, rape, beatings, stabbings, domestic violence and so much more. But what if we saw abuse for what it is in this world, abuse in our own homes, a raised voice, being ignored, toxic workplaces which is rife across the globe, that can makes employees very ver ill. Then there is abuse of ourselves, the negative thoughts, the hardness, ignoring ourselves, our bodies, treating ourselves with disregard. I can'y begin to even touch the sides in this blog writing about abuse, volume and volumes of book could be written on this, never ending in fact.
Do kids need consequences and boundaries in schools?
Reading articles from across the globe, not only educational but what's happening in the world, we can see kids unloving behaviours are on the rise.
Judging then is not the answer, but working in the education I have to ask myself are we supporting the children the best we can to make different choices and see how their unloving choices result in the things that they do? The reason I write this is that globally there are so many solutions, and new behavioural solutions, ideas, programs, the next big thing coming out in educational establishments, but we never seem to stick to them, and move onto something new each year.
When working as an artist, setting up a business or having an already well established one, you need to get yourself out there. People aren’t going to see our art work if it stays in the spare room or a drawer at the back of the house. It doesn’t mean we have to go crazy, do it all now, go into drive or a mission, but we do need to put ourselves out there and be prepared for rejection.
Not everyone will like our work, but everyone will buy, not every gallery will say yes. But the first steps are to contact galleries, shops, coffee shops, look locally then expand. Enter exhibitions ( keep an eye on closing dates, I just missed one by days, whoops learning there) places where there is potential in showing your work.
Using food to avoid sensitivity.
I've been aware of this for a very long time now, but its getting to the stage where I am fed up of it, which is good. I use food to deal with my reactions to what I feel in the world, in my day, all around me, what I can't stop feeling. Our 6th sense, our intuition.
My thing recently has been vegan ice cream, which really is dampening my body to all I feel. The opposite of eating this is simply honouring how sensitive I am, and all I feel.
So why do I do it? When I feel rubbish after it, and know it's not the best way to deal with my reactions? That going for a walk, taking a breath, go to the gym, even taking ten minutes for myself to lie down would be much more supportive.
We all need time to reset.
We all need to time to reset if truth be told. Sometimes we know that and plan it in advance at other times our body stops us.
I've had the blessing today to be going in for some minor surgery, which has allowed me a day to stop, rest, and reset.
I shouldn't have let it get that far, but hey I'm not perfect, pretty damn near it :-) though I can make mistakes sometimes too, but in all honesty it's been a blessing today to have this space.
Is testing really that bad for our kids?
Over the past few years there's been a lot of debate and discussion around tests at schools, but in reality are hey really such a bad thing and do our kids actually need them as our kids behaviours get more and more wayward, with children not being able to sit still, focus and learn.
There is actually nothing wrong with testing our kids, at any age, be it age 5 or 15 years of age. Tests are and can be supportive, they help teachers to gauge where your child is at, and where they might need extra support or focus.
Now I have seen tests been carried out in schools many a time, the kids aren't bothered by them, they do what needs to be done, answer questions and hey presto the test is done.
The problems I feel, for example when we hear about kids in tears etc, actually comes in when we as adults, parents react and impose. We may reacting to the tests, sympathise with our kids, or put pressure on them to do well, be better than others, foster competition, make a huge big deal out of the test etc - ultimately we are creating anxiety in our children, getting them worried about tests. I say that with no judgement of any parent, or the parents of parents as this is how we may have been brought up and parented before.
There is also the system that we need to look at, and if you want to hate anything, it's best to hate the system rather than the tests, education department or teachers etc.
In many instances, we need to hate a system that allows such and such .... and in this case hating a system that actually puts pressure on schools, head teachers etc for their main focus first and foremost to be about attainment and grades well before the well being and relationship with the kids. It is not a teachers or a schools fault, no sympathy here, just the simple understanding they are doing their job and carrying out what they are asked to do.
And in all honesty out kids way hard behaviours are getting worse, there is lack of focus, disrespectful behaviour, given up-ness, not wanting to work hard, lack of responsibility, wanting everything there and then without putting in the work, not being able to keep bums on seat, distracted all the time, thinking its okay to speak to people like crap, ruling eyes, etc not to mention chair throwing hitting people, only doing work when they feel like it, and that's the tip of the iceberg, that's primary schools and then speaking to high school teachers who say kids can't just sit and learn anymore, the can't sit still, focus, they loose them really quick.
Seeing and hearing all of this, we actually need to keep testing from a young age with our kids, it helps them, supports the, supports teachers to do their jobs, to support our children to learn and grow. So maybe rather than scraping tests for young children, we allow them and bring our focus back to responsibly parenting our kids.
Teachers are here to teach
Whilst I may not be popular in writing this blog, the truth needs to be shared. I know it's on the lips of many people.
I have worked in education in many forms from lecturing, secondary, primary, a private business, health and well-being with people of every age from nursery upwards for over 20 years.
What I have seen and I am sure many if not all will agree kids behaviours are getting more wayward, like off the richter scale. Now I am not here to judge, simply share observations of what I see, have seen for many years, and hear from other people, even yesterday speaking with a doctor, they shared that's what they are hearing in their practice all the time just now, kids behaviours are getting worse and worse.
Now this may go down like a lead balloon for some,
teachers are here to teach not parent children
Unfortunately this is not the case in the education system today, teachers aren't able to teach as much as they used to be simply because their space is more often than not filled up with dealing with bad behaviour, which os often consistent. This isn't the teachers fault. In no judgement to parents, simply many children are not being parented or taught respect, decency and responsibility at home. I simply mean the most basic respect for other people.
Whilst some may say oh it's just how kids are these days, its not, it shouldn't be the norm it's how we are allowing our children to be brought up, parenting is a responsibility, I'm not saying it's easy, but we have a responsibility in brining up our children to have a level of decency and respect that they are not going into schools, rolling their eyes at teachers, other kids, answering back, being rude, not wanting to clean up after themselves, not listening etc - all this so called low level behaviour stuff. And it's definitely not the teachers job to parent them, We can blame the teacher and pass the buck on to them, Our kids need discipline and boundaries, and that starts at home. Not to be pandered too, given everything they want, or see the blame being passed onto someone else.
Often people say oh just ignore the low level stuff, that will go away, but it's the ignoring of this low level stuff that builds into the other behaviours like hitting, punching teachers and kids, throwing chairs, swearing, walking out of class, it's the so called low level stuff, that we need to nip in the bud, that's what allows the other bad behaviours to grow.
We wonder why teachers are exhausted, overwhelmed, given up and many are leaving education all together, I'm not saying it's okay, but it's understandable, when you see what goes on in schools and classrooms. To be honest I think a lot of people would be shocked.
Brotherhood in Art, is there such a thing, and can there be?
Recently I have been involved in a few projects, feeling my way about the art world, what's around me, what's on offer, what's not, what's happening in the world of art, and I had the experience of something I really hate about the art system, not the people but the system that allows it.
This thing has bothered me for years, it's been a pet hate of mine the whole time growing up, and being involved in making art. And that is how you are treated by others in the art world, the lack of true care, realness, honesty, basically the lack of true brotherhood in art. And maybe there is some reaction and hurts still around this, but simply it's what I have observed in the art world over many years.
Now I know some of you might say, but we do have an amazing studio where we all work and get along, or a great community of artists that really support each other, and that is ace, and well may be the case, I am not saying it doesn't exist, it's just sadly very few and far between.
My experience was one of feeling the lack of support from others, the jealousy, the critique, and clique as I have talked about before, the almost lack of wanting to share or help, basically people out for themselves, and we get that in all walks of life, but you know what it sucks to feel, not through any hurt of my own, but my hate when there isn't true group work, or brotherhood, we are all in the same boat and ain't going anywhere unless it's together, so the sooner we realise this and work together, the better.
My learning is to observe that, see what horrible energies are rife in the art world, competition, compassion, judgement, etc etc. and get out there none the less. It's just sad to see, that people are treated this way and we don't support one another more deeply, one of my greatest qualities is how much I care about people, and it's the care we have for oversells and one another that can make this world a very different place.
Often when things try to come to knock us down, things that potentially might make us want to give up, go what's the point, withdraw, is when we know we are needed out in the world. And gives us the spark to go go you know what I am stepping up. I am going to bring even more of me, no force, no drive, just simply keep putting myself out there, no matter what your walk of life is. And enjoy what I do and how I express myself, it may not be perfect, or everyone's cup of tea, but we are all needed in this world.
My feeling is yes of course there can be brotherhood in art, but in all honesty it's a long way off as we need to get self out of the way, and the art world is built on the pillars of self, self, self and recognition. But once these come crumbling down, then the true foundations can be built to allow people to express, support, and work together in this way, There are already people and art businesses out there that do this, but let's change how we live and work together to allow room for many more.