Do kids need consequences and boundaries in schools?
Reading articles from across the globe, not only educational but what's happening in the world, we can see kids unloving behaviours are on the rise.
Judging then is not the answer, but working in the education I have to ask myself are we supporting the children the best we can to make different choices and see how their unloving choices result in the things that they do? The reason I write this is that globally there are so many solutions, and new behavioural solutions, ideas, programs, the next big thing coming out in educational establishments, but we never seem to stick to them, and move onto something new each year.
Much of these new solutions and programs are about promoting positive behaviour, and with that taking away any consequences for the children, as in no more okay you do this, then this is what happens, so the children have a learning of how their bad choices affect themselves and others, just like in the world outside of school. Basically teaching responsibilities.
It's great to have conversations to support the children, get them involved in how we can do things differently, supporting them not just say taking their football away, that doesn't change anything, but getting them to sit down and say okay, but how can we do it differently, I also feel these conversations alongside disciplinary consequences is what out children need, as in okay you stay in at break today.
Our children are crying out for boundaries, responsibility, to be taught to be responsible, how our actions affect us and other people, but are we letting them down when they see that there so called bad behaviour just gets 'let away', or baking a cake. Now in no means is this personal to teachers, but I am saying why do we have a system that allows this? It's the systems we need to hate and what they allow.
We teach our kids to recall numbers, grammar rules etc, yet we are allowing them more and more to continue with wayward behaviours, and not pulling them up for unloving behaviours to themselves and others. We teach people to be super intelligent yet these intelligent people for example suicide, abuse drugs, overeat, take part in domestic abuse. We need to make the relationships with the kids first as all good teachers know.
Behaviours are a way of saying I'm not coping with a part of life, be that school, people, home life etc, but we really need to support out children to be responsible for their actions and words, not just say what happens when you misbehave, "nothing". Are we teaching our children that respect and decency don't matter any more?
The truth of the matter is it's the small stuff we turn a bling eye to that actually allow to so called 'bigger' acts of abuse. It's the small stuff we need to agrees, then people, kids wouldn't allow the more bigger acts. Telling child to forget about being angry, oh it's past now, doesn't address the root cause, nor support them to make different choices. It will still continue to play out, Not to mention the trauma in the kids in the class, the anxiety, tension in the air, of not knowing when a kid is going to kick off.
We need to be consistent across the boards, with every teacher in the school from management, teachers, support staff all on the same page, and to support each other, Kids learn from observation, the can tell what's going on for us. No grade, number, good memory or recall is more important that teaching our children to be responsible, caring, decent, respectful, loving human beings, and the relationships we have with them, as everyone knows a true teacher, teaches from the heart, the change peoples lives, stay with a child forever, and that teacher will never be forgotten.