Letting People in
I’ve spent a lot of my life reacting to people, be it because one, two or a few hurt me when I was younger, and also things that have happened in past lives.
But I’ve never considered till recently how I react is a way to avoid letting people in.
It’s interesting as I hate reacting, something I am working on without perfection to let go of in my life, yet there is a part of me that gets something out of it, and that is, not letting people in.
I am learning to observe more, but I have come and at times come with pictures, demands and conditions of how people should be, which stops me from letting them in, as in my reactions I am unable to offer love, observation or space to read or feel what’s going on for someone, and offering them something true , because I am already in a place where I am demanding another or a situation be something else, it’s a lonely place to live.
At the same time it’s very humbling but an ouch to feel, how I do demand things of people, it’s really not nice to feel. But it needs to be felt to bring a real honesty to my body.
So how do I move on? Simple, I clock it, work on letting go of reactions, pictures, demands and judgments of others and let people in. It’s not about going back and indulging in my hurts etc. – the reality I could keep going back and back, thats' just indulging in it - it doesn’t help anyone move forward or heal, but - what it would really come back to is the ultimate hurt that I walked away from God.
But I don’t need to do that, the way to heal and grow is to keep moving forward, keeping things super simple. Working on not reacting; observing life, no demands, pictures etc. and letting people in.