Using food to avoid sensitivity.
I've been aware of this for a very long time now, but its getting to the stage where I am fed up of it, which is good. I use food to deal with my reactions to what I feel in the world, in my day, all around me, what I can't stop feeling. Our 6th sense, our intuition.
My thing recently has been vegan ice cream, which really is dampening my body to all I feel. The opposite of eating this is simply honouring how sensitive I am, and all I feel.
So why do I do it? When I feel rubbish after it, and know it's not the best way to deal with my reactions? That going for a walk, taking a breath, go to the gym, even taking ten minutes for myself to lie down would be much more supportive.
Because I react to things, not big massive reactions, but more subtle stuff, like feeling jealousy from others, other peoples stuff, maybe tension at work, family things, just what's going on for people, kids stuff, the education system, rude car drivers, people given up-ness, overwhelm, someone being nice to me when I know they don't like me or bitch about me behind my back etc and instead of simply feeling it, taking a split second pause to read everything that's going on and how I need to respond - I react - and in trying to deal with my reactions I east ice cream and other stuff, then it's a bit of a circle from there, feel more crap, more exhausted etc. Plus the biggest thing that exhausts me is my reactions. And when I am exhausted I react more. There is far better cycles to be in.
The thing is I can deal with anything when I am open to my sensitivity and feel. The thing that gets me is the reacting.
But what I am learning and working on just now is not reacting, with no perfection, but I do know there's a way I can live, whereby I don't react say 80-90% of the time.
It's a work in progress and it won't disappear over night, but for me it's about creating a body free of reactions and taking on other peoples stuff (basically I'm poisoning my body when I do this), and having a body clear to respond, either by simply observing, not needing to say or do anything or at times offering a verbal sharing. But in this my body is clear of everything that's going on, and that's what i am offering to others, plus I'm not coming home and reaching for the ice cream the minute I get through the door.
It's a win win for everyone, and I can already feel how much more joyful and light I am.
We all need time to reset.
We all need to time to reset if truth be told. Sometimes we know that and plan it in advance at other times our body stops us.
I've had the blessing today to be going in for some minor surgery, which has allowed me a day to stop, rest, and reset.
I shouldn't have let it get that far, but hey I'm not perfect, pretty damn near it :-) though I can make mistakes sometimes too, but in all honesty it's been a blessing today to have this space.
This morning I got to speak to an amazing health and well being practitioner, who helped me to see, what I already know, I like to play dumb sometimes I pretend I don't know - simply to avoid the responsibility, power and the simplicity of what I do know - exhausting I know. And I wonder why I am exhausted, it's even tiring writing that itself.
But it was beautiful to simply have the space to share, feel, and claim myself.
There was space this morning to rest, to come back to bed, not to sleep, to write which is a great process in itself, but also to allow my body to lie and be still, you know that deep rest, that isn't an oh my god I'm exhausted and fall into bed, but a deep deep settlement, I could literally feel my body re-setting on the inside. A bit like when you press the button on your broadband hub to reset it, it needs time to go off, reset itself, things start to flicker and re-connect. And that's what is happening in my body today.
And for me that is what today is all about - resetting.
And we can all do this no matter how we feel, what is happening or happened in our lives, we can all heal, from everything.
The learning moving forwards for me now, is to not react to what I am so sensitive to feeling all around me, to not fight the simplicity of what I am aware of, what I can feel going on for other people, things happening in work, home, places we walk into, you know our 6th sense our intuition, I am simply to honour that and how easy I feel things, feel them, give myself space to stop and read what's going on for people, myself, before I respond, be that needing to do, say something or simply read and observe, bringing a body free of reaction. And gosh how less exhausted I'll be then.
Without perfection, of course I won't nail it 100% but at least 70 -90 % of the time is doable, I know theres a place I can be and a way I can live that I won't react most of the time, for me my reactions are very subtle, and if I do, there will be more supportive things in place rather than reaching for sugar or other things to try numb, dull what I feel, like going for a walk, or taking a bit of time for myself to stop, breath, talk with my partner, or even write down what I have seen and observed during the day, then looking at the bigger picture, leaving me free to come home to my family, and allowing me more space in my body and day,
Taking time too reset is something we all need now and again.
Is testing really that bad for our kids?
Over the past few years there's been a lot of debate and discussion around tests at schools, but in reality are hey really such a bad thing and do our kids actually need them as our kids behaviours get more and more wayward, with children not being able to sit still, focus and learn.
There is actually nothing wrong with testing our kids, at any age, be it age 5 or 15 years of age. Tests are and can be supportive, they help teachers to gauge where your child is at, and where they might need extra support or focus.
Now I have seen tests been carried out in schools many a time, the kids aren't bothered by them, they do what needs to be done, answer questions and hey presto the test is done.
The problems I feel, for example when we hear about kids in tears etc, actually comes in when we as adults, parents react and impose. We may reacting to the tests, sympathise with our kids, or put pressure on them to do well, be better than others, foster competition, make a huge big deal out of the test etc - ultimately we are creating anxiety in our children, getting them worried about tests. I say that with no judgement of any parent, or the parents of parents as this is how we may have been brought up and parented before.
There is also the system that we need to look at, and if you want to hate anything, it's best to hate the system rather than the tests, education department or teachers etc.
In many instances, we need to hate a system that allows such and such .... and in this case hating a system that actually puts pressure on schools, head teachers etc for their main focus first and foremost to be about attainment and grades well before the well being and relationship with the kids. It is not a teachers or a schools fault, no sympathy here, just the simple understanding they are doing their job and carrying out what they are asked to do.
And in all honesty out kids way hard behaviours are getting worse, there is lack of focus, disrespectful behaviour, given up-ness, not wanting to work hard, lack of responsibility, wanting everything there and then without putting in the work, not being able to keep bums on seat, distracted all the time, thinking its okay to speak to people like crap, ruling eyes, etc not to mention chair throwing hitting people, only doing work when they feel like it, and that's the tip of the iceberg, that's primary schools and then speaking to high school teachers who say kids can't just sit and learn anymore, the can't sit still, focus, they loose them really quick.
Seeing and hearing all of this, we actually need to keep testing from a young age with our kids, it helps them, supports the, supports teachers to do their jobs, to support our children to learn and grow. So maybe rather than scraping tests for young children, we allow them and bring our focus back to responsibly parenting our kids.
Teachers are here to teach
Whilst I may not be popular in writing this blog, the truth needs to be shared. I know it's on the lips of many people.
I have worked in education in many forms from lecturing, secondary, primary, a private business, health and well-being with people of every age from nursery upwards for over 20 years.
What I have seen and I am sure many if not all will agree kids behaviours are getting more wayward, like off the richter scale. Now I am not here to judge, simply share observations of what I see, have seen for many years, and hear from other people, even yesterday speaking with a doctor, they shared that's what they are hearing in their practice all the time just now, kids behaviours are getting worse and worse.
Now this may go down like a lead balloon for some,
teachers are here to teach not parent children
Unfortunately this is not the case in the education system today, teachers aren't able to teach as much as they used to be simply because their space is more often than not filled up with dealing with bad behaviour, which os often consistent. This isn't the teachers fault. In no judgement to parents, simply many children are not being parented or taught respect, decency and responsibility at home. I simply mean the most basic respect for other people.
Whilst some may say oh it's just how kids are these days, its not, it shouldn't be the norm it's how we are allowing our children to be brought up, parenting is a responsibility, I'm not saying it's easy, but we have a responsibility in brining up our children to have a level of decency and respect that they are not going into schools, rolling their eyes at teachers, other kids, answering back, being rude, not wanting to clean up after themselves, not listening etc - all this so called low level behaviour stuff. And it's definitely not the teachers job to parent them, We can blame the teacher and pass the buck on to them, Our kids need discipline and boundaries, and that starts at home. Not to be pandered too, given everything they want, or see the blame being passed onto someone else.
Often people say oh just ignore the low level stuff, that will go away, but it's the ignoring of this low level stuff that builds into the other behaviours like hitting, punching teachers and kids, throwing chairs, swearing, walking out of class, it's the so called low level stuff, that we need to nip in the bud, that's what allows the other bad behaviours to grow.
We wonder why teachers are exhausted, overwhelmed, given up and many are leaving education all together, I'm not saying it's okay, but it's understandable, when you see what goes on in schools and classrooms. To be honest I think a lot of people would be shocked.