Being a single woman in this world can often be seen as if there is something wrong with you. People have looked at me like my leg has fallen off when I say I am single.
There have been comments such as:
Just last week I shared an email conversation with a friend in which, amongst other things, I asked how they were, and in return they did the same. Normally part of me would say I am amazing, which I am, but I would never really be completely honest or truth-full. I would say a version of what I was feeling but hold back from sharing in full, or say what I thought I should be saying, what another wanted to hear, or feel that I had to be a certain way – in other words, I found it difficult just being me.
But there was something this morning that made me stop and ask myself: “how am I really feeling?” This gave me the space to really feel how I was, how my body was feeling, and not what my head was telling me I should feel. To my lovely surprise I wasn’t feeling flat or down, yes I was feeling physically tired, but with this I felt amazing, joyful and so lovely and delicate.
So rather than simply replying that I’m great or amazing, I thought, you know what, I am going to be completely honest and share in full how I’m really feeling. In doing so, this then allowed for me to open up to share how I was really feeling about everything else too, with no need for it – or myself – to be a certain way, and no need to worry about what another may think or say: it felt amazing! My body felt gentle, open and loving; there was no effort, tension or thinking, just the simplicity, honesty and loveliness of just being me and expressing in full.
The reply that came back simply confirmed that true blessings do happen every single day; it made me smile a huge heartfelt smile from inside out. My friend shared how it felt great to hear me talk about how I really am in full without hiding or holding back on what I really felt, and from that they opened up and shared in full how they were really feeling too.
It was simply beautiful just being me, and goes to show the true magic, beauty and openness that can be found when we choose to be completely honest and truth-full, sharing in full how we really are feeling, and with that it allows others to feel, be open and express how they really are feeling, in full too.
Inspired by the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Originally posted on 2nd November 2014
I recently watched an Esoteric Women’s Health presentation by Natalie Benhayon on relationship with self and others, for the purpose of evolving together. In her presentation, Natalie spoke about the intent behind the choices we make to be in a relationship.
With this I realised that I have never chosen a relationship to evolve.I have chosen to be in relationships for love – true love and the emotional kind too – but I have never consciously chosen a relationship to evolve.
By this I mean knowing I am amazing and I have so much to give, and choosing to be with someone who is willing to grow and evolve with me too. By choosing to commit to deepening and expanding our love together, to letting go of old patterns and behaviours, and moving on from past hurts. And to never putting a lid on the level of love we can and are able to express.
Even relationships I have been in and look back on, with deep love and care, I chose from need. I was looking for someone else to bring me what I did not want to be responsible for bringing to myself – and that was love.
I thought I was open and willing to evolve, to work through issues that came up and to actively develop our love together, but the truth was I didn’t want to take responsibility for being love first. There was a hurt, a lack of trust and commitment, and a fear of opening up.
I thought it was safer and easier to let my partner in so far, then shut them out. I didn’t let them see me in full all the time because I was scared of getting hurt.
There were moments I would fully open up and be the love that I am, and then I would return to holding it back, like a ransom: if you are love with me, then I will be love with you too. What an exhausting way to live for us both.
The truth is, it is holding back love that actually hurts.In the past I wouldn’t always speak up when I knew things weren’t right in a relationship due to a lack of self worth, but also because of the potential of being on my own, the fear of being rejected and not being loved.
I now understand rejection has nothing to do with the other person rejecting me; it is love we reject, not the person.
To reject love, we first have to reject the fullness of the relationship we have with ourselves by ignoring, dulling down or avoiding committing to and deepening the love we feel for ourselves.
With this understanding I am learning about evolving relationships on a whole new level – and with that I mean all relationships – not only with partners but also with myself, my family, friends, work colleagues and strangers too.
I now know in every relationship there is the potential for us all to evolve.
Inspired by Natalie Benhayon and Serge Benhayon – and the deep care, truth, love, integrity and commitment they live.
Originally posted on 29th December 2015
I have begun to truly love men, but not in the sense of being a crazed, man-eating woman.
Nothing to do with sex, or sexual feelings; not in the sense of looking for a partner, nothing along those lines, but the fact that I love men in their essence, as an equal, as a fellow human being who is exactly the same as me. I love what men bring to the world in a naturally sweet, loving, caring, gentle and tender way, and how the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man is in all men, not just a few.
Each day it is a joy to feel this unfold. What I love about men in their essence is just how natural this tenderness and gentleness can be, and how simply being in the presence of a true gentle-man is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, whether it’s simply:
There’s been many occasions where I have been blessed to feel such lovely men, and yet at the time I have not appreciated this naturally gentle and tender way. Instead I have reacted to what’s been projected on the outside, a stereotype, a hardness, an anger, a protection, a story; all of those things which I know of men are not really true.
However the times when I have, and now do appreciate men for who they truly are, I have felt it from:
What I am coming to feel is that under the hard exteriors that many men have built to protect themselves are the most naturally loving and caring men, but they have learned somewhere in life to not show this and hide it away.
Maybe it’s been in the playground or at the school gates, when beautiful young boys are told to wipe their tears away, to ‘man-up’, be tough, to not be a sissy or a girl, or stop being gay. Maybe it’s all the role models, the media, the ideals and beliefs that a man is rough, rugged, muscular, hard, tough, has to fight or compete his way through life, and that to talk, to share how you feel, to be open, express, to cry, to be love, to be sensitive, gentle and tender is not how a real man should be.
But what if these beliefs and ideals were a lie to keep men from knowing who they truly are and sharing their tenderness, gentleness and sensitivity with the world? What would happen if we allowed men to be this way?
Each time I allow myself to feel and appreciate and love men in this way is the time I open to let go of another layer of how I and the world have shaped how a man should be. Without saying anything or having any expectations I can observe, feel and appreciate the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man, even if it’s not what he’s choosing to be at that particular moment, and that all men are as equally tender and gentle as any woman or child can be.
With love and thanks to Serge Benhayon, Curtis Benhayon and Michael Benhayon, for they are without doubt amazing, truly loving and tender role models for all men; and to Universal Medicine for all they present, live and share, and to all the truly beautiful, tender and gentle-men out there.
Originally published on Everyday Livingness May 28th 2014 - http://everydaylivingness.com/to-truly-love-men-the-natural-tenderness-and-gentleness-of-all-men/