I have worked in the education field for years from school support assistant, first aider, college lecturer, high school teacher, primary school teacher, young person's residential support worker, having my own health and wel-being business working with kids with social, emotional, physical and behavioural needs, to running workshops and session for teachers and trainee teachers.
But one thing I still react to at times is the behaviours I see and play out in a classroom or school. I know for a fact these behaviours are not the kids, children are never bad, behaviour is a choice, and from my experience because there's something there they don't want to feel, or are unsure how to cope with, so the easiest things to do is go to a familiar behaviour that gets what they need, which is often attention or recognition as a substitute for love and or being met. Any attention is better than nothing in most cases, no matter what it is. I know this for a fact as I have done it myself. Haven't we all?
But what was interesting was I made a choice this week to not react to a behaviour in class, you know the I'm not doing this throw the pen and paper on the floor and head on the table. I just let them be, An old way of working would have been to raise my voice, now I'm not saying this isn't needed as it is at times, but in this case this wasn't the answer. I didn't pick up the pen and paper straight away, nor did I pander to the behaviour, thats the key, it's a choice of behaviour they have chosen, and go and ask if everything was okay. I created space and allowed them to be.
I left it about 5 minutes or so, picked up the pen and paper, quietly and gently laid them on the table with absolute love for this child, no frustration, anger or any other emotion, but simply the upmost love and care, without saying a word then walked away, Within seconds the child sat up, took the paper and began to write, no issues, no fuss. This just made me smile and showed me the absolute power and responsability of staying connected to ourselves and not reacting to what we feel and see.